The fireworks last night were less intrusive. My dog didn’t bark until my daughter arrived home after midnight. I don’t celebrate Independence Day for reasons that run deeply.
I have been drawing a lot lately. Stress and bouts with depression are happening more frequently.
I am waiting to hear back from a prospective employer with a formal job offer. If all goes well, I will return to project management after a dismal year of work as a training manager. This change comes with a benefit and a cost.
Three-hundred days of incubation.
Words were spoken, with no translation.
Nights of manifestations.
Sanity kept with journal notations.
The world is silent, with no explanation.
COVID-19 continues to affect our way of life. My brother informed me that his father-in-law passed away due to the virus. States are lifting their shelter-in-place ordinances, and people are massing within their social circles. Alleged experts are warning of a resurgence in cases. As if things weren’t bad enough, there is a report of mosquitos carrying a deadly virus in the Northeast that has already killed several people.
The economy is slowly restarting. We still have roughly 40 million unemployed people across the country. My layoff occurred in March, and my situation is unchanged. I am overwhelmed; this was not supposed to last three months. I have not been able to pay my mortgage and credit card bills. While I am on payment deferrals, the overdue fees and interest are still collected. My unemployment payments are less than a third of the income I used to earn weekly. I have applied to over one hundred job openings. Many of which I am either overqualified or uncertified. Everything I worked for, I will lose in a few months.
The protests continue. My daughter participated here in Southern Nevada, and I am very proud of her. I spent time this week listening to James Baldwin’s interviews and his speeches. His words echoed the same scenarios we see today. It is frustrating and infuriating that the Black Community is still seeking equality within a nation that says, “all men are created equal.” The brazen disregard for human life is devastating, and as long as the “system” that supports it remains, we will struggle to overcome it.
I wrote an article a few years ago regarding my feelings about Independence Day: https://writenowandlater.com/2016/07/03/we-hold-these-truths/.
This year is a scary time. I’ve come to hate the word “unprecedented.” There is so much uncertainty that I am unable to sleep at night. I want to remain optimistic; however, we have six and a half months remaining with no signs of improvement. Time is not on our side.