It is disappointing to see the absence of purpose. The constant grind to fulfill someone else’s dream. I had ideas to start my path. But the light was dimmed by the influence of others. Decades spent struggling to make others proud.
Eventually, I found some measure of financial success but at the cost of my mental health. Then came the pandemic that made me the unemployed sole-provider. This situation is worse than when my journey first started.
I can no longer hide the effects of my PTSD and anxiety. This path of hope is leading nowhere. I am tired of being in the same situation. Ideas are exhausted. No matter where I go or what I do, I end up in that place of despair.