Write Now and Later

I remember the time when
I longed for death…
the conversation
with a loved one
that started as joke.

We stared at a mess
she made; the overwhelming
clutter of chaos and debris.
Someone said she is going
to kill me because
I kept teasing her situation.

I replied that I’m ready to die;
she scoffed at the notion and
rebuked my statement!
My truth she denied,
never knowing my heart
nor its resolve.

Her words angered me;
her claims that my conversations
about God will make me unable
to stand before Him.
She said He will cast me
into Hell because he never knew me.

I challenged her certainty
to which she expressed doubt,
reciting her position based
on paraphrasing the Holy Book.

Hmm…
the living has debated
the after-life for centuries,
to which I am certain
is conjecture and speculation
until death is achieved.

Sun and Moon,
Heaven and Hell,
I do not know where
I will be nor do
I care; I am
ready to die
regardless of what happens
after I am gone.