October 4, 2022

Life is not a dream.

It’s become evident that I’m on the same path as my late father. The journey is eerily similar; marital struggles, broken relationships with our kids, working forever with no retirement savings. In 2021, he died from Stage-4 colon cancer at 76.

I’d be surprised if I lived past 60.

I continually reflect on specific moments in my timeline and want to change those events. Without a Flux Capacitor, it doesn’t seem possible.

Ten Again

It is the end of the year 2019, and another decade is coming to a close. Ten years moved like the seconds of a clock. It was taking the time to fix the broken things while discovering opportunities to remove my childhood inhibitions. From 2010 to 2019 every moment is a story. This moment is my reflection during a period that took me through the fire, first times, and sad goodbyes.

Five-Oh My

In August 2018, I turned 50 years old. Crazy how quickly time moves along. I was expecting things to get more comfortable, but the challenges grow more daunting. My future remains unclear. Despite my angst toward life, there were plenty of good times, memorable moments, and joyous occasions.

Love and Marriage

In 2010, the decade started on a rocky path. There were several moments when we thought our marriage would end. Perseverance, acceptance, and forgiveness corrected many things. By 2018, we found an unexplainable bond.  

Becoming a GRAND Parent

My first grandson arrived in 2014; my second came in 2018. It is incredible how much my grandsons bring love and joy in my life; it is a rich experience that I cannot describe.

Peppers

We adopted Peppers in February 2002, when he was 2-years old. Little did we know the positive impact he would have on our lives, especially mine. He was a guardian, confidant, and travel companion. He earned his seat at the table. He lived a long life passing away in October 2015. 

Physical Health v. Physical Imagery

 I started this “journey” on March 7, 2011, because I could no longer accept being fat. By early 2012, I lost 37 pounds, which put me at my lowest weight since high school. The transition from fat to skinny was not enough, and in 2014, I got into bodybuilding. The bulking, cutting, macronutrient manipulation, and training-splits became a hard way of life. And through all of this, I was never happy with the way I looked. The psychological effect is something I didn’t expect. It is a complexity that I deal with to this day.

Mother Figured

In April 2017, my mother decided to come to visit my family and me and made plans for the week of June 12, 2017. We asked her who was coming with her and she said my oldest sister and her grandchild. We wondered whether anyone else was coming along, and she said she didn’t know (or she wasn’t sure). We asked because I have a brother that none of us want to see. On June 14, 2017, my family went to the hotel to see my mom, and they learned that my brother was with her. She knew he was coming because he arranged the trip and accommodations. She lied to us. 

In most cases, energy is lost in little games of manipulation, in little struggles of will, in the attempts to possess others, to wrap them up, to delude them, to shine them on.

Fredrick Lenz

On Mother’s Day, 2018, I sent my mother a text, “Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Birthday” last night. Her response this morning at 6:15 a.m., “Thank you very much.” Then she sent, “I am not getting any younger, and I would like to get some pictures of you some time or maybe a phone call. I love you and don’t like being cut out of your life.” I did not respond because I was not feeding into her savvy guilt trip so early in the morning. Around 10:40 a.m., the Las Vegas police knocked on my front door. The officer asked if I was “David,” and I confirmed. He told me that my mother, who lives in Maryland, was worried about me because she hadn’t heard from me. I was surprised by this. I told the officer that we messaged each other, and I apologized to him. He said that I should give my mother a call.

“The Mother’s Day Experience.”

My mother, what would I do without her?

Wizard World Comic-Con

In 2015, we went to Wizard World Comic-Con. It was an exciting time. Meeting celebrities, exhibitors, and attending panels. It was our first real convention, and we planned on attending more. In 2016, things were drastically different.

The VIP Experience – Wizard World Con 2016

First WWE Event

In June 2016, I attended my first WWE Live Event – “Money In the Bank” with my son and daughter, at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas. The moment was surreal. It was a lot of fun. Since then, I attended several WWE Live events.

Wonder-Con Anaheim

March 2017 was my first experience at WonderCon. There were a lot of exhibitors and easy to get in to see. We continued going each year since then as it’s become my annual event.  

San Diego Comic-Con  

The San Diego Comic-Con was my bucket list moment. I waited for five years for the opportunity to go. When I received my comic con badge, in 2017, I had to pinch myself because it was finally happening. 

When we arrived in San Diego, a day early, we walked around the outside of the Convention Center and through the Gaslamp Quarter taking it all in with anticipation. The pain I felt was the sacrifice to be in the epicenter of madness. Every moment was a lottery of sorts. People were sleeping in the streets hoping to be the first to get a chance at a comic con exclusive item. Fighting for that special autograph, an opportunity to enter Hall H. It was overwhelming. If I get to go again, then I will do things much differently.

Jim Lee

I have wanted to meet Jim Lee since the late 1990s. In 2014, Jim was at the Amazing Las Vegas Comic-Con. He took a photo with me; I wished that I had my copy of Batman Hush for him to sign. Since then, my goal was to get his signature. In 2018, it finally happened; at a local comic book signing, he signed my book, fulfilling another item on my bucket list. 

Stan Lee

In June 2017, I saw Stan Lee at the Amazing Las Vegas Comic-Con. He answered questions, shared funny stories, and gives us some words of wisdom. This event was a bitter-sweet moment because I was lucky to see him in person before he passed away in November 2018.

Epilogue

Over the next decade, the value of time and effort must become increasingly important. It is time to revisit my bucket list. Cheers and Happy New Year. Here’s to better days ahead.