Tag: Spilled Words
November 9, 2022
Yesterday, the company I work for sent an email about donations for their Holiday Giving Drive through pledges. During lunch, one of the executives conducted a hard sell to get those pledges from employees going to and from lunch. For one hour and fifteen minutes, I stayed hidden at my desk, waiting to use the … Continue reading November 9, 2022
April 13, 2022
Yesterday, I had an interview due to happenstance. I have a couple of panel interviews this week, so we will see what happens. Things may once again come full circle. I had my first one-on-one with the new Vice President of Global Customer Success. He was apologetical 20-minutes late. We discussed his observations during his … Continue reading April 13, 2022
I stand in front of an audience being someone else, hoping to satisfy the subject matter experts. The lights illuminating the anxiety. The painful memories of repercussions for not doing my best. “You're lazy,” I've been told when wanting to express my creative soul. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I … Continue reading Memories
In the Distance
I thought things would get better as I got older. So much experience to make the journey easier. Then I realized, I should have changed my ways. The world is a bully that torments me for decades. My experience doesn't make up for my mental state that is withering away. Familiarity is now in the … Continue reading In the Distance
A sense of panic lingers. Words spewed to comfort. It’s not over. Garbled dreams and nightmares so vivid. Time is forced to rewind. We’ve shut our doors again.
In the Valley
This valley is void of life. My days are wasted and my nights are restless. I’m bankrupt because of good deeds. My thoughts gathered in an empty space. The shadows tell me there’s no reason to be here.
Our time collected things unchanged. This future abates.
A sudden fracture within the norm gave way to an unexpected tragedy. A single infection shut down the world. Despite the unprecedented events, we sought peace and equality. Our reality is now planted in a virtual world. A King showed us the meaning of strength and commitment; a loss we cannot recover. Politicians forsaking the … Continue reading 2020
Smoke and Ash
I performed a ritual in the shadow of a new moon. A burning sacrifice to release the negativity. I doubted the outcome. In the wake of events, maybe I was wrong to have the disbelief.
I am sitting beneaththe rain of contemplation,wanting a relationshipfree of ridiculous expectations. I dream of nightswith intimate conversations.I want to experience companionshipwithout stipulations. I am longing for the sunshine.
From the equinox through the solstice, I’ve watched the passing of each new moon. So much of my time spent in darkness. I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s a disturbing notion. The abortion of love and compassion gives life to relentless greed. I watched the death of strangers and felt the weight of … Continue reading The Void
I crumble at the noise; the deafening sound silences my joy.
Darkness recalls my fall into the open field of nightmares. A bloody nose is an atrocity. The unexpected heat against a sweaty brow; angst tempered by a gentle breeze on the neck. How long have we been here? This seemingly endless desert and the abandoned dwellings held in place by the naked cacti. “What the … Continue reading Defiance
I am fixated on a situation from long ago. That moment has become the standard of measure. Balance of thought consumed by the trauma. The scale unfairly weighs.
I struggle to sleep. Relaxation and empty thoughts are what I need. I want to dream again. I wander across the moments in my journal, looking for the turning point that brought me here. Looking back has become my default perspective; I don't want to become a pillar of salt.
I watched the dawn with optimism — my hope for sunny days laid out in my dreams. I can feel my spirit contradict my desires because the world’s touch is abrasive. The wounds have blurred my vision. The Winter took its toll, but the groundhog predicted an early Spring.
Bad days. Chaos polluting my air. Anxiety restricting my common sense. I am hoping for the better, fighting to prevent the worse.
I waited for an angel. Time was ticking. They seated me with demons. Alone with my thoughts. The night lingered with a hefty price. It's midnight, and the house is empty. Some spirits remained unseen. Dust covered my sunrise. Moments remain unchanged.
Sense of Humor
Leaves are falling, again. Chaos has broken my mind; the logic is dissipating from my precious reserves. There are no reasons to mend the wounds. Doing the right thing has brought me sorrow. Denying myself has brought me pain. My very nature has given me grief. There are no answers to these hardships; there is … Continue reading Sense of Humor
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